Mother's Day! (Was like four days ago.)

I like Mother's Day. I like to serve my mom breakfast in bed. I like to give her things. (This year, it was two acrylic paintings. I'm broke.) I like to take her out to dinner and spoil her. Moms deserve it.

Mommy, I love you.

On a complete tangent, I realize that I feel kinda sorry for white people. I mean, I know I don't want no niggas up in my face shouting about how my people oppressed their people, about how Democrats don't "really" understand black people, about how a liberal just doesn't "get" the movement. That's hecka bull, man. Black folks, let's lay off of white folks for a while.

Now that I think about it, life sucks for a lot of people. Latinos, blacks, Arabs, Asians, homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders, transsexuals, poor people, middle class people, rich people. No matter what you are, it just sucks to live in the States, cos somebody's gonna go out of their way to make your life miserable.

Damn.

How do we solve for that?

Oh. One more thing.

HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO UCLA!

This is total excitement right here, yo.

May Day!

Today, May 1, 2006, is "A Day Without Immigrants."

Many of those who support immigrant rights have initiated a national boycott, refusing to go to work, go to school (two-thirds of my AP Spanish Language class was absent), purchase anything from gasoline to clothes to food (I'm hoping they all stocked up the day before), and basically creating a substantial impact on the economy.

Okay, they made their point.

Now, I am all for immigrant rights -- hell, I'm an immigrant. My mother brought me to this country when I was four months old. Here's the kicker though: I'm legal. So are my folks. We have spent upwards of a few thousand dollars becoming citizens of this fine country: fees to obtain applications, fees to turn in applications, fees for Green Cards, fees for Certificates of Citizenship, fees for passports, wages and salaries lost in having to spend all day at the INS (even though I had an appointment), so on and so forth. But I'm not mad, I'm a citizen. I'm happy, I get to vote.

But when certain people get angry at this idea of selective admission, I can't help but get a little irked.

Look, my family, we paid off our mortgage and our house is now ours, right? We don't HAVE to let everybody, let alone everybody, in. It is OUR HOUSE. Sure, it used to be the bank's, before that it was someone else's, but let's live in the present -- it is OUR HOUSE, and we have the right to deny entrance to anyone we wish.

(Side note: one may be tempted to argue that everybody in the States except for the First Americans are illegal -- the biggest mistake the First Americans ever made was to NOT FIGHT BACK. I kinda wish for their sake that they had been a bit more hostile towards the invading Europeans, rather than welcome with open arms. Who knows how history could have changed?)

Other countries, in Europe and Asia, have far stricter immigration laws. I wonder why nobody is complaining about how the Japanese make it nearly impossible to become a citizen of their country? Just a thought. But hey -- it's their country, they can bar whoever they want.

Yes, immigration is wonderful, and yes, immigrants do have rights. But every illegal immigrants who wants to go around the INS is kicking dust in my family's faces, and the faces of everybody who was so "stupid" enough to actually obey the law.

Man, that was a lot of money, too. Coulda bought me a Benz for my sixteenth birthday.

Is the downtown LA air getting to your head?

So, USC didn't accept me. I don't really care, because USC is a freaking joke compared to UCLA, and it's way too expensive for no real reason. (Fun Fact: if the president were at a USC dinner, and he faced a medical emergency, they'd put him in a helicopter to the UCLA Medical Center.)

WHATEVER, USC.

But then, after I opened my letter of rejection, I got this email:

Greetings,

We would like to congratulate you on your offer of admission into the Trojan Family! This email invites you to apply for the second annual, USC Blacks In Action Community Service Award. Blacks in Action is a USC student organization whose objective is to serve the African American community. This award is given to students who demonstrate commendable deeds of service within their communities. Scholarship awards range from $1000-2000 per student. This money is to help relieve the cost of USC tuition, housing, and/or books. Attached to this email you will find a copy of the scholarship application. The deadline for this application is Wednesday, April 19th. All who are interested are encouraged to apply. For further questions please contact mailto: *****@***.***

Best,
***** * ******
Co. President, Blacks In Action

Umm... I didn't get into USC, right? Whatever, just a retarded mistake.

Then right after, I got this:

The message below that was sent earlier was sent in error. Please disregard. We apologize for any inconvenience or confusion this might have caused.


Respectfully,
USC Admission.

Wow. I wish you all could have seen the look on my face. There are no adequate words to describe it. Sort of a mix of "WTF?" and "Nigga, please" and "Fuck you." You know?

And THEN, the NEXT DAMN DAY, I got this:

Dear *******,

I want to apologize for the confusing e-mails you may have received within the past 24 hours from a student organization at USC – Blacks in Action. In an attempt to communicate with incoming USC students, we unfortunately included your name in the e-mail campaign list by mistake. I am well aware this is a stressful time for you, and I deeply regret any hurt feelings this mistake might have caused you or your family.

I welcome you to contact us if you have questions or concerns about your application or the e-mail. I have asked two of my senior staff to be available for you at their direct phone numbers. You may contact **** *****, Sr. Associate Director, at ***********, or ***** ****, at *********.

I wish you the very best in your pursuit of higher education.

Cordially,

******** **********
Dean of Admission and Financial Aid

Once again, WOW. They're acting like this whole deal broke my fucking heart.

Nigga, please. Your school is not that fucking great to start off with.

I wish I could make a copy of my acceptance letters to UCLA and UC Berkeley and just mail it to them. I wouldn't need an attached note or anything.

Fuckers.

You are not invincible.

Not too long ago, I was in a car accident. There were four other people in the car, and I was driving. I was also at fault. Nobody was injured, but it was very frightening. I take driving seriously, it's a matter of life and death.

I cannot stand people, both teens and adults, who drive like fucking idiots. These are people who will have their lipstick in one hand, a cup of Starbucks in the other, and will drive with their knees. These are people who drive cars with a manual transmission (which requires the use of both fucking hands, I would know, because my car IS a stick) and still use their cell phone with one hand. These are people who don't even fucking TRY to slow down at a stop sign, they just speed right through, and they have the balls to get MAD when they're getting a ticket for it.

Their reasoning for completely throwing out everything they learned in driver's education and training? "Oh, well I've never gotten in an accident!"

So the FUCK what?

Ever heard of positive reinforcement? When you do something, and you find that there are no negative consequences (like hitting somebody or dying), you will continue to do it. You learn nothing. Does that make your behavior correct? I'm going to wager a "fuck no!". In fact, every time that you DON'T get into an accident, you get one step closer to being in one, because you aren't learning shit from your idiocy.

Do I sound arrogant? Do I come off as repulsive? I don't care, because this really does get to me. There are few things that are as serious as this: we aren't just talking about a simple mistake that can be rectified easily, we are talking about risking your life, and the lives of every poor soul that was unfortunate enough to be near you when you decided to drive retarded.

Like I said earlier, I have been in an accident. Maybe that's why I take this so seriously. Maybe that's why I will shout at the person driving me to keep their goddamn hands on the steering wheel, to fucking slow down, to hang up their fucking phone.

I don't want to die on your account, thanks.

This is the blog...

...of a future UCLA student.

HOFUCKINGSNAP

I am so happy right now.

Hypocrites!

So over the past two days, MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) have been at my school, preaching (what else?) the horrors of drunk driving.

This is different.

See, they pulled out a bunch of kids from Leadership and had them "disappear" for those days, telling us they had all died in drunk driving accidents. It would have been totally believable if somebody hadn't leaked that it was all a hoax. (I was on the verge of tears until my buddy Emily was all, "She's not really dead, geez."

So then MADD, the police department, the fire department, and the coroner's office all collaborated together to show us what a drunk driving accident looked like. Pretty realistic. If niggas paid attention, pretty convincing. (I need no convincing. I don't drink in the first place. I'VE GOT THE STRAIGHT EDGE.)

Well, first of all, what a waste of money. The kids who should have been paying attention were too busy laughing. I mean, I don't care about MADD spending all they've got, people will always donate to them anyways (how you gonna say "No I will NOT give money to Mothers Against Drunk Driving"?). But the taxpayers expect their money to be going to protection, and actual emergency relief. Not a role-play for a school of rich yuppie white kids who couldn't care less.

But more importantly, more than half of those goddamn leadership kids who participated get drunk every fucking weekend ANYWAY. Like they learned anything, please. They'll put on airs, act as though they are mature, responsible, and generally better people, but they sho'nough better have taken some notes while they were putting this all together.

These are the same kids who are supposed to lead the world in a matter of years. Social scientists say that this generation is smarter and more competitive. HAH! They're just better at cheating and getting away with it.

These kids aren't fucking smarter. If we judged intelligence based off of test scores we'd be a generation of geniuses. We're not. We cheat and lie and cut corners, for what? To get into ________ University, a prestigious school that no employer gives a shit about if you can't do your job without copying off somebody else?

What is this generation? Competitive? Intelligent? Hardly.

What is this generation? I'll tell you what we are. We're irresponsible, spoiled, cheating, lying, short-cutters who know how to cover our tracks and when to act as if we've never lied to our parents about going to So-and-So's house.

Man, I can't stand my peers. Something's wrong with me.

New rule.

(another blog gimmick)

New rule.

Incredible black men are not allowed to be gay.

Seriously, have you seen Charles X or Clay Cane recently? (I suggest you get to reading those blogs on my link list, nigga.) They so fine. So so fine. Makes me want to go back to black men again. Only OH SNAP THEY'RE GAY.

I respect people's sexualities. But goddamnit there oughta be a goddamn switch or something. I have met so many men who I totally fall in love with and then they're GAY. Damn it.

BIOLOGY WINS
I LOSE
GAME OVER
PLAY AGAIN?

No, thank you. I'm all out of quarters.

New rule.

No six day work weeks with three huge projects, and an AP Calculus test.

Why do people do this? Organize all the most difficult times of the year to coincide? No sleep tonight.

New rule.

Figures of authority are not allowed to be remotely attractive.

Fuck, I can't concentrate at work when I can't stop staring at my boss. He's so hot. I'd tap it in a heartbeat, only he's my boss (one), we'd both lose our jobs (two), and he's married. (DING DING DING)

MARRIAGE WINS
I LOSE
GAME OVER
PLAY AGAIN?

I thought I told you I was out of quarters!